With a new year approaching, let's both just start over. I began to realize the truth one day...that I'm becoming something I'm not, and it's been ripping me apart ever since. I can't go on like this, and I refuse to play into deception, to lead you on, because I respect and care for you too much to ever want to cheat you like that. Quite frankly I'm lost here...that's why I've been away; away healing and becoming myself again.

Then I realized that to let go is not to try to change or blame anyone, because I can only change myself. To let go is not to be protective; it is to permit another to face reality. I do not know what the consequences of this will be, but I can only pray that things will smooth out; wounds will heal over time, because it is not my intention to hurt you.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about. I don't want to criticize or regulate anyone, I just want to become what I dream I can be. I was feeling so trapped, controlled, abused...like my life was contained inside a tiny box and I had to contort myself uncomfortably to fit inside. I don't want that kind of life and I refuse to pretend that I do. To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment. Treat everything in life as a learning experience, whether you win or lose, you always learn something, and this knowledge will help you navigate a course to success. To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. What was done in the past cannot be erased, but it can be overcome.

To let go is to fear less and to love more. I've let go...now it's your turn.

-A