I guess tears don't fall forever, and the pain lessens each time I smile, hug or kiss someone else who I know cares. But it's not the same as it was with you. Yeah, if it weren't for you I never would have felt such pain in the first place, but I also wouldn't have known what it's like to be loved. And I wouldn't have experienced such an indescribable, unbelievable feeling toward anyone. When we first stared liking each other I had a feeling that it was never gonna work out. But like most people who are in love do, I listened to my heart instead of my head. Even though in the end my heart got broken, I'll never regret falling in love with you. The time I spent with you meant the world to me and I thank you for every second of it.

Even today you're just as important in my life as you were a couple months ago. You showed me the difference between loving someone and being in love. I felt both for you, and I thought you felt the same. I fell in love with you, one of my best friends, the one I shared some of my deepest secrets with. You were always there to laugh with me, cry with me, or even just listen. I felt I could just be myself around you. You liked me for me and not someone I wasn't. There wasn't a thing I wouldn't do for you, and that hasn't changed…I can promise you that it never will.

When I think of the times we spent together, I can't stop the tears from flowing. I know that you don't love me like that anymore and you probably never will again. Its sad to think that never again will I be able to look in your eyes and know that its me who you truly love, and to know that I'm not the one you'll hold in your arms and softly kiss goodnight. I'm thankful that we're friends again, but I know that I will always feel more than that for you...even if you don't feel the same. Sometimes I try to pretend that I don't care about you anymore and that I don't love you. But it never seems to work. I'll think I'm over you, but then I look in your eyes and realize that I'm not.

There's not a day that passes that I don't think about you. Either the way things used to be, or the way things are now, or the way things could be in the future. I found that wishing for the past is wasting valuable time. I can't bring back the day we first met, or some of the great times we had together. But I can remember the way you used to look me in the eyes, the way you used to hold me, and the way you used to kiss me. Those things are mine...forever, and no one can take them from me. Maybe after time has passed I won't have to look back on all those things but instead be able to experience them with you again. Maybe not. And if not, I'll know everything happens for a reason. Maybe we're not meant for each other like I'd always dreamt about. But I'll also know that those several months of my life were the greatest and they will never, ever be replaced, forgotten or regretted. During that time we were perfect for each other. And I can't imagine "perfect" getting any better than that.

I'll probably never again get to hear your sweet voice say the words "I love you" before you hang up the phone. I've wanted to say this to you for the longest time now, but never really knew where to start. I wish you could just see how much you really mean to me, you never have and you probably never will. I wish I could say that I don't miss you, or that I don't love you anymore, or even that I don't cry anymore...but I cant say these things because I would be lying.

The day we meet I never imagined that I would eventually have such strong feelings for you, and even though these times I have spent with you have involved heartache, I will never regret a second of it. I just want you to remember that you always have and always will hold a special place in my heart, and I will always love you no matter what.

Love always,

J