Unless you've been living in a cave -- or in your case, a corner office in downtown Philly -- you have, undoubtedly noticed the widening gap in our Father/Son relationship.

This strain is not without its context. At least for me. Life is about choices. And the choices I have made in recent history are the ones I must live with. But this is MY life and I go through it in a way that makes it the most enjoyable. Or sometimes it's a way that is just bearable.

Sometimes the decisions I make cause undue emotional stress on others. And that is too bad. I admit that it I am quite selfish sometimes. But I realize that this selfishness is a method at making myself more content with my existence.

The simple reality is I am no longer willing to play a role in certain parts of your life.

I'm sure this sounds harsh, but I just can't do it. I have been feeling this way my entire life and only now am I dealing with our relationship in my way. A way that is best for me, but surely the worst for you. I'm sorry for that.

Do you know that I have no memories of you and Mom together? Not a single one. I have many, many memories of you and other women you have been with.

And there have been a few, huh? It got to the point that everytime I saw you, there was someone else. It was so hard on me. Here I was, this 8 year old kid getting off a plane, and some lady I have never met or spoken to is showering me with hugs and kisses.

I mean what is with that? Am I supposed to accept that? Am I supposed to find gratification in that?

So you've been going through this routine for a couple decades now. Getting married and it goes so wrong. And I'm tired of it. You can't try to tell me that it's been rewarding. So I just wish you would stop.

I know you have this need to share yourself with someone, I just wish you would be more careful. But the real rough part for me is how you try to include me in these new "family units" you attempt to create and mold. That's no good for me. I'm sorry you missed out on my childhood. But it's in the past and it's never coming back.

The last time you visited, you sprung your latest "significant other" on me. Thanks for telling me four days before your arrival that she was coming along. Well, I gotta tell you, I hated being in the same room as her and that's why I avoided you the last 5 days. She may be great, but I'll never know. Perhaps that makes me less of a person, but tough shit, this person is who I am. I prefer it this way.

Live your life the way you want to. That's fine with me. But I'm doing the same. Pardon me if I choose not to be included in parts of yours.

Be careful,

Your son,

J.J.