The phone rang again last night, at 12:47. Ah the wonders of modern technology! I had to wonder if it was you. I know you have been stalking me, talking with people we both know, or knew, having your daughters speak with other children, to find out things about us. I guess what hurts the most is that I now feel you are absolutely right to hate me. I just hope you do not poison your own life with your preoccupation with harming mine.

Sixteen years ago I was a lost romantic, I was in an unhappy marriage, and the only person I felt understood was Frank, you husband. He told me to follow my heart, and my heart led me into in arms, and more. The first time we made love, he nuzzled my hair afterwards and told me "This isn't going to be easy.".

He had no idea.

When Lorie was conceived, he first wanted me to get an abortion, a thing I did not feel I could do. So I carried her while you carried Danielle. We had a quiet wedding, just he and I, and he came to me every morning, telling you he was hunting or fishing. I cleaned your house, cared for you, and loved you as I saw you through his eyes. I thought the day would come when we would be united by love, and polygamy would be a legal and loving thing. What the fool I! I told my then ex-husband, and Brian took it rather well. He lie about it eventually, but that was his way. He and I have come to an understanding, based on the past being the past. He has told me he forgives me, although I am not sure how he could. Would I be that good of a person?

Years passed, I had my Lorelei, and you had Danielle, then Leanne, and we all got along well. When I married David, I first told him I would forever love Frank, he accepted me anyway.

Frank and I loved each other for years, the terribly romantic scenario of a love doomed to be sacrificed for noble purpose. He told me how you were unstable, how you beat on him, but if he left you, he feared for your daughters. I supported him. He called, snuck in visits, and adored our daughter. It was harder after you bought the basket Factory, and moved next door to it, but he managed.

Until the time came for Lorie to ask about her father; she knew she and Jodie were very different, no matter what the birth certificates said, and needed to know. Frank had told me to put Brian's name on the birth certificate, since I had delivered her in such a public manner (in a car on Mother's Day, remember?) and I agreed. Until she wanted to ask him about her blackfoot Indian heritage. Then suddenly, he turned. The loving man I know was gone, in a wash of legalities. He shunned his other daughter, he thought you to shun me, and threatened me with legal ramifications should I ever contact either of you. My lawyer said it was a farce, but if I was that unwelcome, to stay away for my own safety, and that of my daughter.

From what I understand, he told you it was only once, he said it was all me, and he felt sorry for me. With this understanding, you have attacked me in my own neighborhood, causing my children to be shunned and ridiculed as a the children of a Jezebel. I understand now, I really do. I wish I could do something to make it up to you, for I betrayed you, even if what he said was not the truth of the matter - I did something I knew was wrong.

I am not the young romantic anymore, and I regret. I turned on a friend for the love of a man. I believed in him, even when I should have known better. I love David, and he me, we have a relationship where lies are not needed. It has been so for the last ten years. We took you in when Frank left you for another woman, and took him in when you went back to the house and awaited his return.

Please, my daughter is not me, nor does she carry the mindset that love will conquer all, and anything done for love is forgivable. Please do not harm her anymore. I will do whatever you feel is needed to comensate you for he horrible, horrible wrong that I did. But leave her be. She did nothing wrong; it is the sin of her mother that causes you to hate so profoundly, not the innocent child. At fifteen, she is susceptible to the taunts and stings of the other teens in her school, and your vengeance reaches farther than I think you realize. She and I are in counseling now, trying to keep on an even keel. We are now sharing a house with my parents, since Mum had a heart attack, and Dadddy is in the middle stages of Alzheimer's. Lorie has so very much to deal with, watching her grandparents fail, and become people they never would have wanted to be. Your slings and arows make an already intolerable situation worse. I fear for her mind, for her life, should she feel that we are better off without her.

You have the man you wanted, and the lifestyle you wanted, for the basket factory is doing well, and I hear you can afford all of the luxuries you long dreamed of, and that social status you craved since your harsh childhood. Please, please, Wendy, I beg of you, stop harming the child. She is Frank's daughter, and if nothing else, perhaps your love for him will overcome your hatred for me, and you might find she is just and individual, apart from either of us.

Is there an attonement for my being his mistress? Is there anyway I can make those years up to you? I would do it, for I do realize now that I was wrong, and am shamed by my own actions. Tell me that which would take this hurt from you, or make it easier, and I will find a way to do it.

Your Ashamed Friend,