Who would have thought? Not me, certainly!

I had been hurt, and hurt badly by someone thoughtless and cruel. I was feeling quite a bit used and thoroughly worthless. I felt like my soul was completely drained, empty. But somehow you saw in me a spark, and something attracted you to me.

I saw you trying to flirt with me; trying to draw me out, but I wasn't having any of it. I wasn't ready for another relationship. I wasn't sure if I'd EVER be ready for another one. But you took your time, and you were a friend to me. If I needed a hug, then you held me. If I needed more than just a hug, you satisfied those needs too. And when I just needed to talk, you talked to me as a friend, and you didn't mind talking about "him" even though you must have been in love with me back then. You saw me through my mourning for him, and through the anger, too, and then finally through the acceptance that he really was gone, and not coming back.

And I remember the night that you confessed your love to me, and because I was caught up in emotion, I told you that I loved you too, but at the time, it was a lie. Not an intentional one, but an untruth just the same. It wasn't that I didn't love you, because I really did care about you. The lie was in saying "I love you," when I knew you thought I was saying, "I'm in love with you." And when I realized what I'd done, I ran away and stopped talking to you.

And all the while I was away from you, I thought about you. I was thinking, "I'm not in love with him, because I can't love anymore," or, "I don't want to get hurt like that again," or even, "I don't want to hurt someone else the way I was hurt." I didn't want to fall in love again! To fall in love was to run the risk of being hurt, or almost as bad, hurting someone that was a friend.

So after letting my head, my brain and my logic fight matters back and forth, my heart finally put in its two cents worth. It said, "He has soooo much to offer. He loves me! He's not going to leave me like "he" did. And even if he does, at some point down the road, should I deprive myself of the happiness between now and then that I know he can give me? And deny him the happiness that I can give him too? And what if I stay away, and it would have worked out? Then I would have deprived myself, unknowing, of a lifetime of happiness. So I went back to you, and told you that I wanted to be with you.

And without a word, you took me in your arms and kissed away my tears and held me while I cried out my relief, murmuring "I love yous" against my ear.

We may not be together forever, as much as I would like that to happen. But I do know that since that night, the happiness and joy I have felt by being with you are worth any pain that may be in our future.

You have changed my life forever, Ron. Thank you for being so tenacious. Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for your love.

All my love, always, all ways,