If I told you I loved you, would you understand?

I don't think you would.

You are one of the most insightful, perfect, sociable, intelligent, funny, caring people I have ever met.

You are perfect.

Perfection that only comes alone once in a lifetime. I watch everyday as my mental scrapbook fills itself up with moments of you. The jokes that make me laugh until I cry, the concerned look on your face, the way you know exactly what's wrong and what to say. The way you've accepted me.

But if I told you I loved you, would you know what I meant? Or would I just get the forced response of "I love you, too" or worse yet, silence?

I promised myself a long time ago that you were off limits, that I would limit myself to friendship with you. Because you love someone else.

Have you noticed the way I keep asking you if you think she's 'The One'? Have you noticed the way I keep trying to see if there's a glimmer of hope that maybe you love me too? Have you noticed the way I don't go out looking for other guys? Have you noticed me? Have you ever thought of me as more than a friend? Do you ever think of me?

You know my past. You know that for me to say that I love anyone is extremely difficult, and rarely ever happens. I don't freely give love away. I don't let anyone into my life. Did you ever notice how easily you claimed a spot in my existence?

None one else has been let into my life so quickly, and fit so perfectly into the void that was there.

I feel as though I've known you for a lifetime, and in a way I have. I feel that my life started over when I moved away from home and started school, because I'm a different person now.

I don't know who'd I'd be without you, but I love who I am now, the person that you've help me become.

Your friendship has saved me. Your love could let me rebuild.

I love you.

Do you understand?

Alli