I know I haven't spoken much to you about yesterday at the airport. I don't have the words this time. I am numb. Yesterday I spent the whole morning denying what was about to happen. Avoiding thinking of the inevitable. I tried to pretend it wasn't happening even when we were walking to my gate. It wasn't until they started boarding the plane that it really hit me. I had to go. I had to leave you once again and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I didn't have enough time to tell you a few things....

I didn't have the time to tell you that I loved you, that I would be back soon, that the thought of spending the rest of my life with you brings a tear to my eye every day. When we first met after months of talking on the Internet I already loved you. To finally hold you in my arms made me feel complete. We had such a wonderful time in December and when you left on the 5th of January my world fell apart. I couldn't eat or sleep. I was unable to function properly and I felt as if my body was giving up on me. I only lasted a month before I had to see you again. Now that I have seen you again it just hurts more to be without you.

I met a woman on the flight back to England. I think she was an angel. She sat next to me for 6 hours and listened to me talk of you. I told her everything I could think of about you. I told her how we met back In August, I told her about December in England and I told her about our time in Michigan this last week. She listened to everything I said and saw those lovely pictures of you that I have. She even sniffed my sweater because it smelled of you. She said to me, "This only happens once. You are supposed to be together. Now don't hang around. Get back to her as fast as you can." When we arrived at Heathrow she gave me some words of comfort and hugged me. We came out of the plane and walked to customs...then she disappeared. Her name was Linda.

When I read your card on the plane I cried so hard for so long. It touched me so deeply Rebecca. I sat there and listened to our songs just before we landed with the sun coming up over the clouds. Surrounded by people, I felt so alone. No one can help me. No one can make me feel alive apart from you. You are my world, my whole existence and without you I am nothing.

Regardless of the consequences I will be in your arms again in March. I resigned this morning. I intend to escape my housing lease as soon as possible and I'm applying for my Visa on next week. I know it could take months, it probably will. But I will find a way to get to you no matter what. I walked away from you yesterday. I'll never do that again, ever.

I love you with all my heart,

Yours forever,