It's been almost two weeks now, and the pain is still there. You left me a week before valentines day. A week before our six month anniversary. I will always remember the sweetness we shared. The love that was mutual. I miss the little things. The kisses on the top of the head and on the fingers. The cute way you smiled at me. But you left me. You left me for her. A 20 some year old with two kids. I know you are living life like you have never lived it before. But what about me? Did our love not mean a thing? I remember the way you used to smile at me and say 'I love you'. You had the cutest little smile. Do you remember how we used to argue about who loved each other more? Do you remember how we would always end it in 'no, we love each other equally?'

I sit at night and think about the sweet times we shared, how you used to lay next to me on the couch and hug me until we fell asleep and how we would wake up in that position. I miss it. I think about how I would watch you sleep at night. Every breath you took. You were like a little angel, an angel of mine. You would take deep breaths and exhale slowly and I used to sit and just think about how I loved you.

I thank you Nick. I thank you for the smiles you showed me. I thank you for the kisses you gave me. I thank you for taking a chance with me. Because no matter who we are with now, I will love you in the same way as I did before. I can't hate you, I could never hate you. Even though you hurt me in a way that is so hard to describe at times. I can't hate you for it. I don't have it in me to hate you. You were my love, the angel of mine. The one who I would sit up all night and watch every angelic breath you took. I did it all because I love you.

I loved it when we would stand up together and you would have your arms wrapped around my waist and how you would tell people that you couldn't stand to be away from me for a second. How I was your little angel with the dimples that you just couldn't be happy unless you saw them. I'll love you forever and always, and I want you to know that my love for you will never die, it was in me yesterday, it is in me now, and it will be here tomorrow, waiting for you. Waiting to watch your beautiful face break into that smile. I want that smile to be for me, and not for another person. I want that sweet loving kiss to be for me. But mostly I want those 3 words that you used to whisper into my ear to come back for me.

I can't stand to see you get hurt. If she is to hurt you Nick, than I will feel that hurt. I want you to know that, because I can't stand to see you cry. I notice your absence, it hurts me, and I know that I will feel that hurt inside me until I have that little angel of mine back.