I'm writing this to get everything out it's been awhile, I had wanted you back and each time you'd treat me bad I'd want you more and more. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I look at how we began and I look at how we ended and why it ended the way it did and why we are this way now. I wish it hadn't of ended the way it did I wish you had chosen me over drugs. I could love you forever, a drug can't.

But oh well, in a sense it was for the better I guess. For me at least I'm glad you let me go so I didn't have to suffer from your disease. It's kind of sad I lost alot to drugs, they've done so much to me, what's funny is that I never even done them and they've cost me so much. A mother, family, friends, and now love. I really have to look at how we began to truly understand why I am the way I am now, why I am destroyed emotionally.

You came to me at a time when I was at my worst, but you lifted me up, I never used you for anything other than inspiration and help. Maybe I was a fool to believe that you could have loved me as much as you said you did and maybe I was a fool to believe your dependency would never had gotten in the way of what was really important. Us. You told me you never felt this way emotionally about any one before. I told you the same, the thing is I meant it. Towards the end you said we were different, we were, yet we had everything in common, except drugs. You did them and I didn't. I shouldn't had fallen for you. I look back on it now, I look back on how lifeless you were around me when you were sober.

It's sad, you are so beautiful but you continue to live this lie. I wish you well in your future endeavors, you always will have a place in my heart for all that you did for me, and how good you did treat me when your mind was set on love and not self destruction. I don't hate you but I can never love you as much as I did. I cant love someone that doesn't love themselves. And when you finally come down you will then maybe see that I could have been good for you. Whenever you come down. I'll end this on one last note, I'm just glad we had more pleasant memories than bad.