Well you left me about three hours ago and I can still feel your arms around me and your cologne is still in the air. I didn't want you to leave, but how was I to make you stay? It's been a year now since the first night I kissed you, since that night I was drunk and decided to tell you that the reason I left Kris was because of you. I told you how Katie had slipped and mentioned to me about your crush on me. That night I felt so safe and happy in your arms, I thought you'd never let me go.

We decided that we were going to wait a while before starting anything serious since you were spending the summer in Philly and I was going back to New York. That was fine with me, I guess. Then when we came back to school everything slowly fell back into the way it was right before we left. I patiently awaited for things to start happening, but I wasn't ready for them when they did.

I know how much it must have hurt you to see me deteriorate like I did, and I can understand why you were so scared. I know you had never seen someone close to you go through what I went through this past year, but you have to realize that depression is something I've lived with for as long as I can remember and even though you don't believe me, I can handle myself. But I wanted to tell you I understand why you felt the need to distance yourself from me when I hit rock bottom.

So here we are once again staring into each other's eyes only hours ago. You told me you missed me, and you were glad to see me again. I chuckled because you didn't mean me in the physical sense, but me as in who I was before. I don't want you to run this time, I really care about and you know I don't say that about people often. Don't be scared of taking risks, give me a chance... I'm not going to rip you to pieces and your not going to make me sick again. I just wanted to tell you that you are everything I've ever wanted and I adore you more and more each day... but I can't say it to your face in fear of you running away again... so there, I said it here.

Forever there,