Why I'm even writing to you is unknown to me. I guess when something hurts so bad... I have to let it out in the open. I just can't ignore things anymore. And you know what? I'm not even ignoring them... I'm pushing them in deeper and deeper inside of me until I believe that they're gone.

But they're not I still feel them.

I know I'll never give this letter to you. You think I'm too emotional, and giving you a page full of sad and sentimental words will just add to that. You'll read it, show all your friends (so they can laugh at it), and snicker, telling yourself how much I NEED you. Bullshit, Andrew. Bullshit. Did you just take me in, use me, and trap me so I would love you forever? Because that's exactly what you did. You forced me into something I never even wanted, and let me hang to dry. And it hurts so bad to know that you never cared about me to begin with. Why say it... if you don't mean it? It just gives people pain. Did you purposely want to do that to me?

I guess so.

Now you are gone. Not physically, no... not at all. You aren't completely out of my life yet. I mean, I see you daily in summer school, and next year, you will probably be in a few of my classes. But in my eyes, you are gone.

You occasionally make a comment about me, which are all rude and insulting. Yet I know you constantly look at me to see who I'm talking to. Why? If you don't care, then why do you do what you do? You rub things in my face, make me feel worthless, and don't talk to me. Then why, deep down inside of my soul... do I truly believe that you still care for me? Maybe because you use to. Damn... you use to... a lot. How can something so strong, fade so fast? It doesn't make any sense. Maybe you are just being your macho self... pretending you don't need me, but knowing you really do. Yet why is it, when you say you have all these girls all over you, you still want to know what I'M doing? You shouldn't.

But I know you do.

I have no idea where letter of mine is going... but I want to let you know that I will eventually move on. You use to say that I would ALWAYS like you. Actually... I don't like you at all. I care about you very, very much. There's a big difference, baby. Right now, I may be a weak, heartbroken little girl, but hearts heal with time. You, my dear, have lost a true friend who would have been there for you unconditionally. Especially when you really need me. I could have been a shoulder to cry on, a ear to listen to your problems, and a mouth to give you good advice (like when those girls DUMP YOUR ASS!). Again, I may be hurting now, but I will move on. Unfortunately, for you, you've lost something special. ME.

I'm glad that you will learn a lesson from this, even if it means losing me forever. You probably don't give a rat's ass about how I feel, but you WILL learn something... someday. I know you will. I'm psychic, remember? Oh yeah, and I also see in my crystal ball that you will cheat on your wife with me when we're 45. LOL. Inside jokes are so painful when they're true. =)

Love,