Being in love with you is nice. It was. It was nice. It could be nice...

It's not nice. Heartlessness never is, which is something I expect you know. Perhaps I deserve it, but after looking at the situation in all lights, I find it hard to believe.

I remember the first time we met. I was in love with you then, from the first day. We had an extremely tumultuous relationship from the start because of it. I never knew what to say around you, because I was scared that I might accidentally blow my cover, and I knew (or thought I knew) that my love was not going to be returned. I thought that if I told you how I felt, that you would hate me.

I was so scared. That's why I left. I thought that if I never spoke to you again, I would HAVE to get over you, and I seriously doubted that you cared. I didn't know you would come looking for me again.

And you found me. I was angry, because I had almost gotten over you, I was almost ready to try to have a relationship with someone else without wishing they were you. I was almost ready.

You had found another girlfriend. I was shattered, and horribly jealous. Whenever you mentioned that name, that perfect name, Amanda, which must be perfect in order to be yours, I cried. It wasn't fair. I had known you longer than she had. I had been horrible to you, and I admit it, and am sorry... but somehow I promised myself you were mine, despite everything.

I got courageous. I admitted my love. So did you. Your love for ME. For awhile after that -- during which time I actually met Amanda, and she IS perfect -- you taunted me with I love you's and little kisses and conversations long into the night, while always reminding me that you're hers, and she's yours. That's not fair. I liked it at first, but it's not nice anymore.

I'm glad we've had the friendship that we've had, Sean, I am. I want our friendship to continue, because I think it would be good for me if I weren't constantly being taunted by you. I want to be able to get over you. More than I want anything, I want to be able to talk to you without being so sad and feeling so lonely and being so jealous of Amanda. She's a sweet girl, I want you two to be happy -- I want to be happy too. So you have to help me get over you. All the things you want to say have to be silenced, and I'll silence myself too. I don't want to be taunted, to be lead on anymore. I want to be your friend, with no strings attached.