It's been so long. Alot of changes have occurred. So many things I want to tell you, but I have no idea where to start.

There's been so many times when I wish you were here. Where did you go? You were there, right next to me, laughing and smiling, then before I knew it, you were gone. Why? I needed you there, you were my shoulder, my protector. I've been so lost since then. It's starts getting better, and then it gets worse again. I believe if you were here, if you had been my friend all along like I thought for sure you would have been, I would be ok. As it is, there's been plenty of times when I haven't been ok.

I miss you. That's the actual point I'm trying to make. I'm sorry for sounding angry, because I'm not. I just wish you were still in my life. It gets me upset to think of all the times in the past, the memories of you and I doing what best friends did. All of those sleepovers, the times at the fair, the walks down the road, the talks, the phone conversations, the notes. Everything. I miss it. I miss you.

I remember a conversation with my mother. It didn't last for very long and it made me feel quite silly at the time. We were talking about our friends and she said something about her friend Nancy being her best friend. Then I chimed in with you being my best friend. Then my mother agreed. We were such good friends that even my mother knew how close we were. I have that conversation stuck in my head quite often.

I never told you before how much I treasured you. Maybe that's why you aren't around now. I believe I may have taken you for granted, and god, I am so sorry. I would do anything to relive that time just to make things right again. Just to tell you how much you meant to me. To tell you how thankful I was for you. Unfortunately, I can't turn back time though, so I have to tell you here, in whatever small way this is. I just need to let you know.

No matter where you are, I know thoughts of you will forever be inside my heart and mind. As far as friends go, I love you. I am so thankful that I had you in my life, to show me what I could be. You helped me in so many ways. Thank you, for everything.

Always in my heart and my memories. I will never let you go.