It's been almost a year now, since our friendship began falling apart. I remember the exact moment I felt the first thread unravel from what I had thought was a tightly woven fabric. We were on the grad trip, in a bar, and you and your boyfriend got up on the ledge and started dancing together, leaving me to fend for myself amongst a room full of strangers. You had asked me to come with you, since you felt left out when I was with the other girls. So I did. And I ignored me. I felt uncomfortable and tried to get your attention, but you did not even notice when I left. Maybe it wasn't a big deal, but to me it was. I ran out of the club and who knows where I would have gone had I not run into more people from our school.

And this was after we had sat cross-legged in the parking lot outside our hotel at 2 a.m., had a heart-to-hear, and both cried. We said we would try harder, communicate better and more often. You forgot so fast.

It really hurt, when you stopped speaking to me so suddenly. I have no idea where our friendship went wrong, why you suddenly had all the power. What hurts the most is the way you singled me out, the way you maintained friendships with all our mutual friends, and the questions they would and still ask me, wondering why we're not friends any longer. Everyone had seen us as a pair. Why me, and not them?

Recently, a friend told me you said that "we just weren't compatible as friends". I wish I knew what that meant, where that was coming from. It all happened so suddenly. I really trusted you. I never thought you were capable of being so cold, of hurting me like that.

You know, you never did sign my yearbook from senior year. We kept saying that we'd wait for the perfect time, so we would have the chance to write long, meaningful letters. Now there's simply a blank space where your signature should have been, almost as if our entire friendship, all those years, had been a figment of my imagination.

How ironic that while I was composing this letter you called out of the blue "just to say hi". The second call I have received from you in the past year, each at a six month interval from our last phone conversation. As before, you had to go when things started getting awkward. You've really got to stop catching me off guard like that, when my defenses are down, I'm feeling calm, and am able to chat with you for an hour as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It's not healthy. There are so many things I should have said to you.

I never thought I was capable of hating you. But this year, when you would flounce past with your nose in the air, not according me so much as a glance, and when you still managed to flirt with the guys I liked, though we were on a big campus now, and not in high school, I wasn't left with much choice. It hurt so much that those guys, that everyone, still liked you over me.

Why I have wasted so much effort worrying about what happened between us when you quite obviously couldn't care less is beyond me. At first I held some dim hope of salvaging the friendship, but that hope died away as time passed. I don't think I ever could, or want to be friends with you after all this, after seeing you in this harsh light. I could never trust you again.

It's been almost a year since you suddenly cut me out of your life. You'd think I'd have forgotten about it. But I can't. You were my best friend. You said I was yours. We told each other everything. How something like that could be broken, shattered so suddenly is beyond me. I always thought our relationship was stronger than that. I did move on, met new people, and from what it sounds had a much better year than you. There was always a part of me still hurt, still wondering, of which I haven't been quite been able to let go.

I have so many unanswered questions. What did I ever do to you to deserve this? Why did you suddenly turn into a cold hearted bitch? Why me and no one else?

I just need some form of closure.

Quite Sincerely,