How are you doing? Lately, I can't stop thinking about you. You're gonna be 14 soon, I'll be 15. I thought I could write and let you know how your sister is. I missed you alot, and you're all I can think of right now. I wish we could of spent more time together, I wish I could of gotten to know you more.

It's sad. I know you probably wouldn't want me to be sad. But I can't help but want to cry. Why did they have to take you away?

I've wasted my 14th years. I really lost all pride left. I'm sorry about that, I guess all I could do is pity myself. You wouldn't be happy to know I did that, would you ? I should live my life like you never were able to!

Did you hear about Jeremy? He's 7 years old now. He's my little brother, I wish you could of gotten to know him . Maybe if Daddy hadn't left, Jeremy wouldn't even have been born. I guess God decided everything would be better this way.

Do you know why? Why is Daddy ignoring me? What did I do to deserve this? Everyone needs a Daddy. I look so much like him. People think mother has adopted me. She said once, that you would of looked like father too. I wouldn't been alone then.

Did you know that Daddy got married again? He has three children now. I'll never meet them, but I'm happy for him anyway.

I sometimes wonder what life would be if you'd be here. We'd have a blast together. We'd be best friends. We would play laser tag, we'd have water fights. We would go to the movies, we would give each other advice. It'd be weird. Well it is, just thinking about it.

I know, I know. I shouldn't be crying. I should be a strong sister. Like I always was supposed to, I should show Jeremy a good example. Did you know that he has two half brother and sisters ? He'll never be able to meet them though, for his father is being like mine. Poor Jeremy. He's too young to know that now, so I guess we have something in common. I keep on wishing you'd be here. But I have to move on, don't I? God must of had a purpose. There must of been a because. I'd do anything for you to be here. Why did he choose to take YOUR life away and not mine?

Well yes, I learned something out of this. We don't know how precious things are until we lose them. And that's true. Those things don't only happen to others.

I love you John, say hello to Julian for me. I know my brothers are in good hands.

Love,