I am not able to put your real name here, because you would know it was you, and you would know all the pain I am, and have been, going through since we met that weekend. And it's not my intention to cause you any pain, I just need to let you know what I am thinking, what I am feeling, since emailing you personally would be too difficult.

I still remember the very first day we chatted. I was totally taken by you. Your wit, your charm, everything about you. I thought it was fate that we hooked up that day, since I wasn't even supposed to be home, I was supposed to be on vacation. I remember everything you said to me. God, you were so sweet. Such a gentleman. I was falling, and fast, at that. The worst thing to do, because it causes the worst hurt. I remember sending you my pictures saying how worried I was that you would be disappointed in me because I wasn't a little tiny thing, and you would always tell me I was pretty, and that you weren't like that, you wouldn't stop talkign to me because I wasn't skinny, and there was more to life than being thin. I believed everything you said to me. I was so trusting. You made me feel so good about myself. I actually, for the first time in a long time, felt pretty. It was such a good feeling. the months went by, we kept talking. yes, we wanted to meet. So I decided to go out to you. I had friends I could see there, as well. I was so nervous. So scared. You name it, I experienced every emotion possible. I wanted to be with you so bad. You were, and still are, everything I want in a man.

Let's forward to the day we met. You came to my hotel room, and knocked on my door. I was shaking so bad, I couldn't believe you were actually there. I opened the door, and there you were. You were everything I expected, and then some. Your pictures did not do you justice. A man like you should not be interested in a girl like me. But there must have been something there, right? Or else you wouldn't have come to meet me. The time we spent together went so fast. You gave me your scarf to wear when we left for dinner because it was so cold. I was so happy the entire time I spent with you. It was beyond anything I had ever imagine. I had never been treated that way before. You made me feel so special. Little did I know how short our time together would be. I didn't want to let you go. but then it came time for you to leave. We hugged each other tight. I didnt' want to let go. You kissed me good bye and then you were gone. I closed the door and cried and cried. I must have cried for hours. I didn't know it would be so hard to say good bye. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. It was over. Would I ever see you again? Ever talk to you again? Anything? I didn't, and still don't know.

I'm home now, and I have the best memories of the time we spent together. I wish it could happen again, but you've stopped talking to me. Only emails. I tell myself you're really busy, but the logical side of me says if you were interested, you'd find time to talk to me for 5 minutes or whatever. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you, and meeting you has made that ache worse. I can't look at your picture without crying....it just brings everything back, even though it's been a month. A month exactly. I just wish I knew where I stood. Please don't just walk away and say nothing. I want you like I've never wanted anyone before. You have this power over me. I wish there was a way to break it, but I don't know how to go about it. Please just tell me to get on with my life, or whatever it takes.....just don't leave me hanging.. I wish there could be more.

Take Care....