I have many things laying upon my heart right now, many things I would love to question you about but know I shouldn't.

As I turn on the six o'clock news tonight, tears stream down my face in what seems like a river of pure emotion. I am hit with the most terrifying feeling any teenager in America will experience. It has happened again. Only this time it's bigger.

I look at a schoolyard full of children my age, sobbing with all that's left inside of them, not ashamed to cry and not afraid of fear; and I realize that it's real. The image of his face, as he rocks himself back and forth with tears pouring out of his innocent eyes, his hands pounding the ground... that image will never leave me.

I hear such a soothing voice, the voice of a teenager saying that he "prayed for everyone's relatives to come out", and then I watch his face crumple up into what seems like the most heartbreaking of all expressions as he explains that everyones relatives did come out. Except for his own sister.

I watch the father of a murdered boy tell how his son would have been the first black child to graduate from his school, and it tears my heart to bits. Because he was so brutally murdered for no reason what-so-ever. Because he was different.

I don't pretend to understand you. I do not want to try touching the hand of you, for I know it is far greater than anyone could ever imagine. You are awesome and wonderful and worthy of praise. But you still do things that are not fathomable.

I see the lives of so many innocent children being destroyed day in and out, and I wonder how such a God like you could so such a thing as this. In a world of hate and pain and everything wrong, it is sometimes hard to look for you; even when we know you can always be found.

I guess this is a little prayer. Please watch over the lives of all who are thankfully still here. Give reason and hope to this situation. I know you do all things for a purpose. And even though it breaks my heart, and the heart of every mother watching and waiting patiently to see if maybe, just maybe she will wake up from a dream that seems all to real, I know there is a purpose in what happened here.