You told me yourself that you believed in love at first sight. Two people
can be at the right place at exactly the right time and connect. But what
if you are both at the right place but only one of you finds that
connection? How is it possible for the stars to work on only one soul?
I fell in love with you the instant that I saw you.
I know now that if that had been a crowded room, with one thousand people ,
I would still single you out. How do I explain that to you when I can barely
understand it myself? it's strange but you were the best thing that happened
to me, and the worst thing as well. I can honestly tell you that you were a
part of my happiest moments at work.That month or so of childish flirting
and how each day we would push a little further - to see how far we could
go...
I realize that the chemistry was uncontrollable- we had to kiss, we had to
know...but if I knew then what I know now - that kiss would have never
happened. If I knew then that I was about to loose someone that I cared so
deeply for then I never would asked for or expected anything from you. It
seemed that the deeper I fell for you, the further away you pushed me. I
have never known myself to be 'clingy' or insecure and that was a side of
myself that even I saw for the first time.
Even when it was over, I still thought about you - every single day, missing
you. Then we talked and you told me how much you still loved Her - and
inside I died. I know now that you can never love me,or even have as much
affection for me in that same way. The circle of life that you spoke about
is more like a spiral to me. Circles within circles - you are in love with
Her, and I am in love with you.
You told me that you prayed, PRAYED to Her that she would take you back.
Well, I pray too - not to you, but to God. And it's not so that we can get
back together but rather so that I can get on with my life and be able to
live again. It's hard for you to truly understand the influence you have
had on my life when I hide so much - but you can't know, can never know
because you would never understand.
But I do want you to remember this - don't ever say that you're 'busted'
because you are so beautiful to me. And don't ever say that you have not
been loved because I loved you so very much.,/p>
Way too much,
M.M