I remember the first time I saw you it was at this Superbowl party last year. I remember because it was a couple of weeks after David and I had broken up and I was still pretty upset. I never told you this but you were the first person that made me forget about him. You were the first person that actually let me have a good time.

Ever since that moment I knew I was in love with you. I never thought I had a chance though because you were dating one of my friends. But then this year we got to be really great friends and I knew I had to tell you how I felt. When I did and you said you liked me too. I felt like a Queen. I mean you were the first guy that I actually loved. What happened? Things were going so great. We got along so well, we still do. I knew that something was happening but I didn't know what.

I still remember that terrible night in January when you called. I finally had enough strength to ask you what was wrong. How could you have had another girl? Why wasn't I good enough for you? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough? What was it? When you told me about her my heart was ripped in half. I knew I should leave you but then you were everything to me. Even though we still hung out everytime I saw you I felt betrayed. I cry myself to sleep everynight with hopes of another chance with you. And know when I think about you I wonder where you are and why you don't call anymore. Was it something I said? Was it something I did? I tried to be perfect for you. I tried to be what you wanted. How could you just leave me alone...helpless, abandoned, hurt. Are you ashamed of me? Ashamed of the fact you gave me a chance? Ashamed of the fact that at one point you loved me? I'm not ashamed of you. I never have been. I never will be. I never can be. No matter what you say, do or even think can change the way I feel about you. I Love you. I don't want to but I do. I don't even know why. You make me feel so special though. The way you would tell me I was beautiful, the way you would hold me, even the way you would just look at me and smile.

I try to forget these things. I promise I do. I can't though...so I'm not going to try anymore. I'm not going to hide from myself or my emotions. I am going to let myself love you...for who you are. I don't deserve you, but someone does....you're perfect and that's why I love you. I hope you understand why I had to write this letter. Have a great life I hope you'll be happy because I have a lot of sleepless, tear filled nights ahead of me.

With all of my love,