When I saw you, passing you as if I we were in a romance movie and this was one of those slow motion parts, my heart hit the floor, and shattered all over again.

I wasn't expecting to see you so soon, really. I suppose that lying to myself to make it all ok is something I have fallen into far too easily. I never believed that phrase "Out of sight, out of mind!" until I saw you this time. Because every emotion dammed up inside of me came flooding out when I did see you.

I heard you were planning to marry her. I can't explain to you how that makes me feel, in words. I assume that when you told me she means nothing to you, that you were simply trying to make me fall back in love with you. It worked. So now what do you do? Marry her? Take her to Hong Kong, or whatever God awful place you are going with the Army?

I hope she will make you happy. I won't say you deserve it... but I still hope she does. For her sake.

I don't know what this letter is all about. Maybe it's to make myself understand that no matter how many years pass, and no matter how many times you see me and ignore the sparks between us, my heart will forever continue to hit the floor... and shatter all over again.

I understand that you don't love me... but the power of who you are, and the fact that you were my first love... well, that floors me. Even if it doesn't you.

I forgive you for not ever making eye contact with me anymore. I forgive you for not loving me, and I forgive you for choosing to leave us as what we are. That doesn't mean I understand it....

It simply means, I wish I knew your secret.

Love always,