My whole life I have wondered about you. I wondered if you were alive. I wondered if you were in as much pain as I was. I wondered if you were looking for me. I wondered if you cared.....If your heart felt wounded, like mine did.

But 11 years ago I found my answer. I found out that you abandoned me when was only 4 years old. It shattered my life. Up until then I thought maybe we got separated somehow, maybe you lost me by accident. It never crossed my mind that you intentionally left me. Left me alone, at 4 years old. You took away my life as I knew it, my security. You separated me from my baby sister. You left me with NOTHING. No name, no birth date, no way of ever finding you......for this I will never forgive you.

I think the pain was fully realized for me after I gave birth to my own child. How I carried him for 9 and a half months. How I fell in love with him when he was born. How I live for him. And how I would die for him. Never, ever, under no circumstance would I ever leave him, abandon him, like you did to me. How could you have done that to me? How could you have left me at such a young age? Did you not love me? Did you not care what would happen to me? Did you not think of how I would feel not only being separated from you, but also from my country? Did it occur to you that I would always feel alone? That I would always feel like I didn't belong? Did you realize I would feel this pain my whole life?

I want you to know that I am a survivor. The whole in my heart has been filled. I have 2 precious sons, that I love with every ounce of my being. And while I once used to dream of reuniting with you, crying, holding you, telling you how much I love you and missed you, I now think I would spit in your face.

And then I would take the hands of my two sons and walk away from you proudly.