I watched you from afar, and saw you as a friend. Then you did it, you changed the rules, you made me love you, only to turn a blind eye to my life, and hold my heart in your cruel grasp. Our friendship started off, with gentle words, long talks on the phone, conversations on poetry, you made me rethink, all the things I had been told. You made me feel, like I was beautiful, like I meant something. For once in life someone understood me. The one day, the phone rang, you a stuttered through what would be an I really like you speech. But I was taken, in a long relationship, and told you, that I wanted to be with you. I broke up with him, to be with you, and you turned me away. You looked at me in almost a laughing way and clawed your talons deep into my hair, until I couldn't feel anything but the pain. You lied, you ran away from me. I ran away from you, but you kept pulling back, each time, with underlying words, with false promises.

You were with someone now, and you threw that in my face every chance you got. Like you got some sick thrill out of seeing me double over in pain. Or making what I thought was my strength seem like a weakness. Then when I'd almost get away, when I could feel the sweet strands of freedom, you would pull me back, saying how much my friendship meant to you, and please don't leave. I can forgive you for all of that, but there is one night I can't forgive you for.

Wanting to hang out...yeah that's what I call it. I sat with you, and we talked, talked for hours about nothing. We sat there and just listened to the silence, then you hugged me, and whispered sweet things in my ears, and touched my lips. Then hugged me. You made me think I was someone special to you. And I hate you for the vulnerability. I hate you for how you made me feel. How you looked into my eyes and told me your deepest secrets, but held the most vital part of yourself back. I couldn't even tell you I' loved you. You watched me, and held me. I thought it was all something special. Until I saw you next, and you said, it was comforting...you were comforting, god damnit I know what comfort is and that wasn't it. I skirted around it, I made you talk about it. I needed to know what you were really thinking. Then I pulled back, and you continued to pull me closer until you suffocated what love I had for you. I'm broken, but not beat, and I'll never let you get close to me again. I can forgive you for your form of friendship, but I can't forgive you for what you did to my heart, and how you used me. I will forget you, and rip away the hold you have on my soul.

It's over.

Hilery