I'm not quite sure why I'm writing this. I just need you to know, you hurt me so much. Don't get me wrong, I don't hold it against you...How could you help it when you didn't even know you were doing it? Or maybe you did.

I never meant to get this close...You wonder why I always try to distance myself from you, it's because I didn't want to fall in love with you. And however much it hurt, loving you was the best thing I ever did. I'll always cherish the memories we have together, I'll still be there for you when you need me, and I'll still write you letters during class, when I'm bored out of my mind. But I have to let go.

I went to my theatre production the other night you know. We sang, we danced, we laughed. And we all flirted, knowing it didn't mean a thing, but that was half the fun of it. I realised how much I missed that atmosphere, and how much these people mean to me. And I realised something else too. Just how much my feelings for you had been holding me down. That light inside of me was fading out, and I couldn't let that happen. I haven't been so happy as I was that night, for about a year. And you know what, dear friend? I didn't think of you once. Not once.

I hope things work out with her, honestly I do. Because all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. No, that's not true, I wanted to make you happy. But I've realised now, I can't do that, and I can't go on trying to protect you and look after you. Not anymore. I need to look after me. It's like you told me once "Don't cry, you look so much prettier when you smile." I know I do, and that's why I have to do this. That's why I can't love you the same way I did.

I was depending on you to save me, and that wasn't fair on either of us. I have to save myself, I'm the only one who can. I know there will always be a part of me that loves you, and I don't want to lose you over this. But maybe, just maybe, if we both let go, we will learn to fly. Just like we always wanted.

Always,

Mandy