It was the funniest thing?my sister came home today and gave me a pack of that 25 cent Winterfresh gum. You know, the kind we would buy in bulk every Saturday so that when we got in trouble for chewing gum in class and Mrs. D would take it away, we had another pack the very next day. I don't chew that gum anymore.

After she gave me the gum, I went outside and sat on the roof of that old dog house, in the park down the street. The one we would gossip on every Sunday after church. But then after a while, we couldn't meet there anymore. That was the first time I've been in that park in years.

I suppose I'm hurt and sad. Maybe a little bit angry. I've been thinking about why I'm angry with you. Everyone told me that if I felt anything, it should be sadness. They all told me that I should cry a lot. But they all never lost their best friend. At least not the way I did.

But nonetheless, no matter what they say, I'm angry with you. Furious even. To think you would just leave like that. That you would just give up. And I had no clue. I should have known, right? You were my best friend, we talked about everything, and I had no clue.

Maybe I'm angry because I feel let down. Do you even remember when I asked you "Hey, If I realize that I definitely can't handle things here anymore, Will you save me?" because you promised you would. How are you going to save me now? And I'm angry because I feel guilty. That I couldn't save you when you needed me too.

Because I didn't even notice?

Missing You,

Manda