I didn't ask for this. I shouldn't have to accept the fact that you have a mental illness that causes you to be an asshole. I shouldn't have to just "deal" with your split personalities, your irresponsibility, your lack of communication, and your defensive attitude. I'm sorry you don't like to hear me say anything negative to you. If I had anything else, anything good to say, I would. But you have disappointed me, Sydney, and your family.

I try to forgive you, I try to not get disappointed. I try to understand that you don't really know what you are doing - at least that is what I'm told. Yeah, your friends see you differently because they don't really KNOW you like we do. They don't see you the way we do because they haven't done anything to hurt you like we all supposedly have!! You have got the biggest chip on your shoulder. You have since the day I met you. It's obvious that you have a lot of issues you have never dealt with. And that is sad for Sydney because she is going to grow up with an unforgiving father who doesn't take responsibility for his actions. Who doesn't see that he ever does anything wrong. Who doesn't feel remorse for wronging someone or hurting their feelings. I don't want my daughter to be taught all of that Nick.

Unfortunately, I don't have much control over that at the moment.....but don't you worry, I am just counting the days until you REALLY screw up and I will take her away from you forever. And you will screw up. You already have given me PLENTY of instances to show the courts. You are unstable, you have absolutely no conscious, you are extremely insecure and you have no idea that you are all these things. SAD! You know the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? Why does my calling you a loser make you so angry?? I don't think you are a loser Nick. I just know from your actions, that you don't give a shit what you do to your life or to your family. You are lost. I don't really care what you do with your life....you can go to hell for all I care. But I don't want you dragging Sydney down with you....I am going to do everything in my power as a good mother, to stop you from doing that.

I will see you in court.

Lucy