Hi. What a long time it has been. It's been too long, in fact. How do I know it's been too long?

I can remember nights, Brad, when we used to spend hours talking about life, and where we thought we would be in five years. We would talk about how we hated what we could not change. I can remember, still, how you made me feel so complete. You would take the parts of me that were the most void, and fill them with little pretties about how much you cared for me as your friend. And on some occasions, you would fill those voids with dreams that never ever came true… dreams that I would someday be with you. Dreams that you actually cared for me in a deeper way; the way I cared for you.

Time passes. Time passes and we move on, sometimes together and sometimes in different directions. But I ever once stopped loving you and caring about you. I never once stopped worrying about your welfare or what you were doing at any given moment. I never once lost that feeling, that feeling that only your beautiful face could give me when I passed you on the street.

You would never believe, even if I told you, the pain I felt when I heard. When I heard that you were having sex with her, someone we once questioned having AIDS… You would never believe the anger and hostility I carried with me for DAYS, simply because I knew you were sleeping with her. I never expected you to save yourself completely, but I did expect you to save yourself for someone of worth.

And once you broke up with her, all that anger, and anxiety and hostility melted away.

School started, and I realized that it would probably be longer than I expected before we would talk again. That was fine… at least I knew you weren't with her anymore. And then the shock, pain, heartbreak, worry, anxiety… it all came flooding back… when I found out you were dating someone of an equal class.

And you are going to be sleeping with her within the next month. And I am going to worry and wonder, and I won't hear from you. I will never know how you are, or who you are, for that matter.

But, I guess I stopped knowing that a long while back.

So you ask, how do I know it has been too long?

This is how. This, Brad, this is how I know.

--Fallon