I remember everything because it wasn't that long ago. I remember snuggling by that warm fire, thinking about how lucky I was to have you there to hold me. You wrapped your arms around me and held me like you were never going to let go. And you didn't, until I had to make the bed for Cara. I could have stayed in your embrace forever. I think you know that, and I think you would have let me stay there for all of eternity.

Holding you that night on the couch, I held everything. And I held onto you like someone was going to pry you away at any moment, and I would never see you again. I didn't let you go that night until way past my bedtime. That night I dreamt of you, those were such happy dreams. And I still have them today.

On the island, our first real kiss. Pure bliss never felt so great. I admit, those five days you were here, I hung off of you like clothing from a line. And I know that nothing will ever change the way I feel for you, especially after our last night together. When we played cards in that trailer with Lindsey, Tully, and Matthew. After everyone went to bed, and we took our walk up the driveway, you held me for so long. And you told me how much it was going to hurt to say goodbye. And it did hurt. It hurt a lot.

In the van on the way home, I didn't want to let you go. And what was an hour and a half, felt only like minutes. And it wasn't long until we said goodbye. 'Until we meet again,' I guess you could say. I gave you that bright green stuffed animal, and you gave me your bulldogs wrestling t-shirt that I am currently using for pjs every chance I get.

Right now if things had gone how they were supposed to, tomorrow I would be in your arms. I would be a happy damsel, in the arms of my strong Knight who came to carry me away under the stars. But unfortunately I have to wait another 49 days before that happens. So I write you letters, and send you 'I Miss You' cards. Sometimes I call you on the phone, and some nights I cry myself to sleep. But I'm usually happy. Because every time I hear your name I smile. No matter how sad I am, or how lonely I am.. I smile. And I think that I'm slowly falling in love with you.

I guess what they say is true. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. And every passing minute in every waking hour of every single day, I'm growing more and more attached to you. What you don't realize is that I'm going to end up never letting you go. I hope you don't mind, but when I come to see you I plan on bringing thread and a needle, because I plan on attaching myself to your hip. I never want to lose you Justin. You are my knight in shining armour. And if I lose you, I will have lost everything. You are like breathing and I don't want my air to be cut off. So until October, I will keep missing you.

Love always,

Jess