I have loved you for too long, and now I'm ready to be over you. I've done things that I'm not proud of to get you out of my mind, but nothing worked. Now, I realize that I have to tell myself that I don't love you, and believe it...and I do believe it.

What we had was special, and we shared more than I could ever share with anyone else, but it's all gone now, and I learned a very valuable lesson from it. I should never let anyone run my life the way you did, and I should never try to run anyone's life the way I tried to run yours. We were attached at the hip it seemed like, and I lost a lot of friends and received a lot of criticism for that. Even though I can never forget what you meant to me, I can forget that I loved you, and I will.

When you said you loved me for the first time, I felt something I had never felt before. The feeling of being in love was overwhelming at such a young age, and I let that take over my life. Now I know that it was wrong to push everyone out of my life for the sake of our lust for each other.

I admit, the sex was great, and it was comforting when you held me if I got upset...but that's over now, and I've grown up a lot since our relationship ended. You hurt me in a way that I will never allow myself to be hurt again, and I thank you for putting me through that pain. I was so miserable without you, yet it made me stronger and I won't ever let myself be under the control of one man for the rest of my life. I want you to know that I haven't given you a second thought since Chicago, and I probably will never think of you in a romantic way again.

People talk so horribly of you, and I try to bite my tongue because I know I will go completely off and say things I don't mean as a way to blow off steam. Even your friends think you're an ass-hole. Just do me a favor and get over yourself because no matter what you think, I don't love you anymore, and I'm not in love with you, and I don't do anything to make you think I am. After this is over, I will never think of you again, and I hope you never think of me again either.

I've learned a lot from you,

Amanda*